Everything is just a lot right now
Last week, I think I had a panic attack. Either that or my blood sugar was just running super low. I treated myself to a sausage biscuit sandwich to see if it was the latter. I felt better, but a biscuit with sausage will make a lot of things better. It was an uncomfortable combo of light headedness, body fatigue with an unhealthy amount of anxiety. It was intense for 30 minutes and then kind of lingered like a inconsiderate party guest. I wrote down "Everything is just a lot right now," something my wife said months ago. I also wrote down, "Life is hard" roughly six months ago. I didn't know what to do with these statements, but I knew they were universal and important and not addressed enough. My dad has a nice sermon he shared with me about how hard simply maintaining a regular life can be. I'll paraphrase, "Just getting up and paying your bills, exercising, performing well at work, day after day, after day, is hard. It's hard to just doing all the normal stuff you're expected to do."
He's right. I am not even touching on the big problems like poverty and illness and loneliness - the really big stuff. I don't have those kind of problems and I pray I don't and I pray for anyone that does.
I am addressing only the daily crapola. I am talking about when your AC stops conditioning the air. I am talking about when you look down and your body looks kind of mushy. I am talking about when there are ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife (I figure why fight what Alanis already perfected).
This doesn't have anything to with advertising or graphic design. It just has to do with being a human being with a job and a family and a head full of worry. It sucks and it's hard and there is no easy answer (But, there is a truly breathtaking song called, Life is Hard that is worth the three minutes). There is only the comfort that you're not alone and everyone else is stumbling around right alongside you. No one has it figured out, and the only true answer is to keep going. Keep writing, and keep learning, and keep following something YOU deem worthwhile. Because, if you stop, you're no good to anyone.
The more you want from your life, the harder it gets. You want to follow your dreams? Well, you better be ready to take a pay cut. Interested in a career change? They're going send your buttocks back to the bottom. The more you want from your life, the more that will be asked of you. So, there's that.
I'll take that deal. Because, as my pops repeatedly reminds me, "If it was easy, everybody would do it."
