New year, same you.

I can’t believe I became the kind of person who listens to self-help books. I never thought I’d be one of “those” people. But I most definitely am. One glance at my Audible App and there’s no denying it. According to Audible, I’ve been listening to self-help books since 2018. Approximately half of the books I listen to could be described as self-help. But every time I type “self-help,” I make this face in my head: 😬 It has a really negative connotation to it. Why does the word "self-help" make us want to cringe? Well, a person on Reddit said this, which I liked:

In a sense, almost all non-fiction books other than biographies are 'self-help' books. The reputation of the name isn't too hot because they are known as 'the books people read but never apply to their lives.' The fact that they are called 'self-help' gives the sense that the reader needs 'help' as well…

Well-put, internet person. But why do we deny or ignore that we need help? We all want to improve at or in something. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t. I think it comes down to two factors. One: admitting to yourself that you need to change, and two: fearing that you’ll fail. Those two factors are understandable and relatable. But, so is allowing the waiter to put down the second basket of chips after you wolfed down the first one before you’ve even ordered. It’s understandable, relatable, and destined to end in regret. It's not about the "know-how," it's about the "do-now."

And, since I listen to so much of this stuff, I do have one delicious little nugget to share. It's from a woman named Mel Robbins who developed something called the "5-second rule," and it has nothing to do with eating food off the ground. The rule is easy: When an opportunity arises, don't think about it — just count 5-4-3-2-1 and decide. Sound too simple to work? Well, it's better than something complicated. I've tried it and it works. From making a phone call to getting out of bed, it forces you to choose to do or not to do something. And that's what personal development is all about.

Let go of New Year’s resolutions. We should have goals, big and small, but don't expect some monumental change to happen when we flip a digit to the end of the year. I’m kind of into doing the Anna thing from Frozen 2, which is simply “Do the next right thing.” I’m working on doing one thing at a time. I’m trying to not incessantly check my email. I’m focusing on listening to my kids' long-winded, poorly constructed, and meandering stories. I’m forcing myself to find some satisfaction in emptying the dishwasher. I try to be more patient with telemarketers.

And that’s it. This is it. New year, same me. This is my current life. I mean, I’d like to be rich, and I’ve listened to tons of books on how to do it. I’d like to be a magnanimous leader, and I’ve listened to even more books about that. I’d like to be the perfect dad, and I listened to one podcast about that. But I am not those things right now, but I'm on the way.

After all those hours of self-help books and growth-hacking podcasts, I think the best goal for me is to be a kind and patient dude. And that’s it. This is it. New year, a little better me.